so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
