woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
