When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
