SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
