I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
