i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
