your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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