You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
