I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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