Sry I called you an 8
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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