One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
