Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
