you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
