I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
