He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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