Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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