My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish you could order shots online.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
