I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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