Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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