I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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