Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
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I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Terrible idea I love it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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