Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
that is very illegal...i love you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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