her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
