lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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