Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
its liver damage thursday
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
