sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
