i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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