I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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