Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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