I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
