I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
