she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
