How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
