we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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