um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize