I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
