are you still at the devil's house?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
