What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
