I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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