You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
