people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize