So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize