dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my shit smells like andre
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
