I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wish there were birth control emojis
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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