A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
