i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
