ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
