Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
