I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
