yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
