At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
