i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
