Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
