sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize