Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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