i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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