How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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