Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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