Umm I'm too high to move.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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