Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
